January 2007 entries

Thursday, January 4, 2007 10:57 PM CST

Today has been a great day!!! I feel like a ton of bricks has been lifted off my shoulders. The last week has been a complete mess and today I haven't felt a bit af stress. I am so thankful for all your prayers, GOD IS SO GREAT!!! I know that alot of people all over the world has been praying for Alicia this past week and all the prayers were answered. Thank you again so much.

I have to admit though that I have been a little mad. I can't believe that a pathologist here in Kansas could make so bad of a mistake as he did. My whole world has been turned upside down because of someone reading her tests wrong, I even gave a notice at my job and started to exit Alicia out of school. I can say that all the calls I made today with the news of Alicia felt way better than the calls i made last week. I'm not mad anymore though, I forgive who ever the pathologist is. All that matters is that Alicia is fine for now and all the rest don't matter.

Dr. Williams did say that he wants to do another biopsy in the middle of Febuary just to make sure that the results are the same as he seen Wensday. I will not loose my hope and faith that they will be fine.

I believe God was sending me a message or maybe a wake up call, I know that no one is promised tomorrow and I should make every day count that I get to spend with Alicia. Who knows when her time will come for transplant and I believe that he was telling me to be prepared next time, and maybe it will be a little easier to accept because this totally freaked me out. BUT MY BABY IS FINE FOR NOW.

I am so glad that I won't be missing my grandsons birth. That was bothering me alot also but I knew I had to focus on Alicia but now I will be here!!!

I want to thank everyone again so much for all your support. I wouldn't of been able to get through that without you, Thanks so much.

I want to give a big thanks to Krisstina, Dianne, Charisse, Teresa, Kelly, Lisa, Robin, Suzanne, The prayer bears, Dr. Williams, Roxanne, Sallie, my mom, Kayla, my whole family and my FA family also. I hope I didn't miss anyone, I am just sooooooooo happt.


Grandma michelle

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Wednesday, January 3, 2007 7:09 PM CST

WAIT TIL YOU READ THIS!!!!!!

I AM A TRUE BELIEVER THAT GOD GIVES MIRACLES!!! HE HEARD ALL THE MANY PRAYERS THAT EVERYONE WAS PRAYING FOR ALICIA. GOD IS WONDERFUL!!!!!!

I GOT A CALL FROM DR. WILLIAMS AT 4 PM TODAY AND I COULD HEAR THE SMILE IN HIS VOICE. HE SAID THAT HE GOT THE SLIDES FROM KANSAS AND HIM AND DR. DAVIS BOTH AGREE THAT THE PATHOLIGISTS REPORT IS NOT CORRECT. HE SAID THAT HE DOES NOT SEE ANY SIGNS OF LUKEMIA!!!!!! HE SAID HE WILL DO A FOLLOW UP BIOPSY IN FEBUARY JUST TO MAKE SURE BUT HE SAID ALICIAS TRANSPLANT IS CANCELED!!!!! THIS IS A MIRACLE!!! I AM SOOOOO HAPPY!!!

I WILL UPDATE MORE TOMORROW BUT I JUST WANTED EVERYONE TO KNOW.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR PRAYERS, YOU ARE THE REASON SHE IS NOT GOING TO TRANSPLANT.

MICHELLE

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Tuesday, January 2, 2007 7:08 PM CST

Today has been a little better for me. Im taking it one day at a time. I know that Alicia needs me to be strong so I am getting stronger every day.


I didn't celebrate New Years, Alicia and me went to bed early and skipped any celebrations. In 2008 we will have a big celebration and make up for this years.


I caught myself gettin upset this weekend and little alicia went and got her pillow and crawled up in my lap and rubbed my leg and said its ok meema, at that moment I thought to myself who is supposed to comforting who? She needs me more than ever now so I promised to get myself together, this is going to be a hundred times harder for her not me.

Cincinnati called today and said that her blast count was at 7% and she might need Chemo before her transplant to get her Lukemia in remision, so we might have to go sooner than we thought. They also said they found 2 possible matches in the national donor registary so that is a bit of good news.

I will keep everyone updated on any new results. I want to thank everyone for all the support you have given me in the las couple of days. I couldn't do this without friends like you.

Michelle

December 2006 Guestbook Entries

Dear Michelle, Alicia, Erika and New Baby,
I know this is a difficult time for you all. I have been thinking about you all so much, knowing your struggles right now. However, I still wanted to say "Happy New Year" because you have beautiful people around you to spend time with. Just know that I am thinking and praying for you. Jesus is with you in the New Year.
Love Charisse
(FA Adult)
www3.caringbridge.com/oceania/charisse
Charisse Howard-Jones/The Prayer Bears
Adelaide, SA Australia - Sunday, December 31, 2006 7:03 PM CST

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Here is a prayer Michelle look at this when you get the "prognosis, diagnosis and the outcomes...
God's Angel
by Paul Dammann
God sent to me an angel,
it had a broken wing.
I bent my head and wondered
"How could God do such a thing?"
When I asked the Father
why he sent this child to me,
the answer was forthcoming,
He said " Listen and you'll see."
"My children are all precious,
and none is like the rest.
Each one to me is special
and the least is as the best.
I send each one from Heaven
and I place it in the care
of those who know my mercy,
those with love to spare.
Sometimes I take them back again.
Sometimes I let them stay.
I am never far away.
So if you find an angel
and you don't know what to do,
remember, I am with you,
love is all I ask of you"
Michelle Alicia and Erika you are in my prayers every minute BE STRONG and always know GOD is never far away
Roxanne Hall
- Saturday, December 30, 2006 6:24 PM CST

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Dear Michelle,
I know how deeply you are struggling. I know how deeply scary and upsetting this type of situation is. I know how urgent it feels and I know how you don't want to do it. These are all feelings I have struggled with since my rise in blast count and the feelings that run through my head. I am, truly very sorry that this has happened with Alicia and with the baby being born....even that it has happened. It doesn't feel right and it feels unbelievable. I know that sometimes people want to hit people who say that Jesus is in control. Even with my blast count I have had no one to lean on but God. Even then sometimes I feel very cross and tell Him so. Jesus is Great and Mighty and He does understand our pain and He doesn't like to see us in pain. So I am going to pray that His peace and comfort will come to you amazingly through the confusion and fear. Alan and Isaac and I love you guys. We love your whole family! We will be here for you my love. We know how hard this is and we feel very sorry about it. But, Jesus does reign....and He is in control even though we feel so confused and that is what I find comforting even though I don't have a clue why things happen. Will check on you soon.
Love Charisse
(FA Adult)
www3.caringbridge.com/oceania/charisse
Charisse Howard-Jones/The Prayer Bears
Adelaide, SA Australia - Saturday, December 30, 2006 5:54 PM CST

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Keeping your family very much in my thoughts & prayers.
Sending love hugs & prayers to you all.
PAM STURGILL www.freewebs.com/prayerbears
- Saturday, December 30, 2006 3:06 PM CST

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Hello. I heard about your beautiful little girl from the prayer bears. My son is 8 years old and had a bone marrow transplant on Oct 13th of 2006. Our prayers are with you. May God put his healing hand upon your sweet little one. If you ever have a question from a parent that has been there, my e-mail is mrsbuckii@aol.com.
Our prayers are with you.
Jessica Weekley
carepage:brandenweekley
Jessica Weekley
New Milton, wv usa - Saturday, December 30, 2006 3:03 PM CST

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Praying for your family right now.
Jennifer from the prayer bears
Texas - Saturday, December 30, 2006 8:48 AM CST

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We are so sorry to hear that Alicias results are not good. We willkeep you all in our thoughts and prayers daily.
Lisa Nash
Englewood, Co USA - Friday, December 29, 2006 12:02 AM CST

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I'm so sorry to hear about Alicia's results. I can't imagine how you all must be feeling. We'll keep your family in our prayers.

Love,
The Clifton's
Teresa - http://cliftonclan.blogspot.com
Anna, TX USA - Friday, December 29, 2006 10:17 AM CST

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Michelle -

So sorry you got bad news this week! But take heart - the Lord is still with you and He is still in charge! We'll be praying that either Alicia has better results next month or they find a perfect match in the cord blood bank. I know how much you love your precious granddaughter...we'll pray for all of you. Please take heart that transplants these days are much more successful. Wishing you the best in the New Year!

Love,
Nancy
Nancy Ross
- Friday, December 29, 2006 8:07 AM CST

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Alicia, Erika and Michelle
I'm sending many prayers to you all. I am going to pass Alicia's name around a couple of friends of mine who will pray too and we will all be sending lots of healing light to you all. God Bless love Gail xx
Gail Richardson
London, England - Friday, December 29, 2006 4:36 AM CST

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I will be praying for you daily. I know this is hard, as I have been dealing with John's transplant for a year now, and it can be hard.
Praying for you all,
Judy
Judy Smith
Hohenwald, TN USA - Thursday, December 28, 2006 9:40 PM CST

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Praying you all have a happy holiday season filled with laughter, love and an abundance of blessings.
Jennifer from the prayer bears
Texas - Saturday, December 23, 2006 4:04 PM CST

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The Prayer Bears

Hope your Holidays are blessed beyond measure!
Blessings and Bear Hugs,

Donna Boggs, Papa Bear’s Site
Coeburn, VA - Tuesday, December 19, 2006 1:03 PM CST

December 2006 entries

Friday, December 29, 2006 6:42 PM CST

TODAY HAS BEEN THE WORST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE. EVEN WORSE THAN YESTERDAY WHEN DR. WILLIAMS CALLED. MY MIND HAS BEEN GOING A HUNDRED MILE AN HOUR, I KEEP THINKING OF EVERYTHING MY FAMILY IS ABOUT TO GO THROUGH. I AM SO SCARED. IF I CAN JUST MAKE IT THROUGH TODAY I KNOW I CAN PULL MY SELF TOGETHER. I KNOW I HAVE TO BE STRONG FOR ALICIA, I KNOW I AM HER CRUTCH AND IF I CRUMBLE SHE WILL HAVE NO ONE TO LEAN ON. THIS IS JUST ALL SO HARD FOR ME TO TAKE IN, I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS SO SOON.

ERIKA IS HAVING A HARD TIME DEALING WITH THIS ALSO. SHE FEELS SHE HAS TO CHOOSE BETWEEN BOTH OF HER CHILDREN. HER BABY IS DUE ABOUT THE SAME TIME ALICIA WILL BE GOING TO TRANSPLANT PROBABLY AND THEY TOLD ME TODAY THAT THE BABY WOULD NOT BE ALLOWED ON THE TRANSPLANT FLOOR. THEY SAID THEY ARE UNDER LOCK DOWN DURING THE WINTER BECAUSE OF VIRUSES. WE TALK ALOT LAST NIGHT ABOUT IT AND WE BOTH DECIDED IT WOULD BE BEST IF ERIKA SIGNED GUARDIAN SHIP OF ALICIA TO ME DURING THE TRANSPLANT SO I WOULD HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO MAKE ANY DECISIONS ON HER BEHALF. ERIKA IS GOING TO COME EVERY OTHER WEEK AND THE BABY CAN STAY HERE WITH MY SISTER DENISE. HOPEFULLY WE WILL FIND SOME WAY TO AFFORD TO FLY ERIKA SO MUCH.

THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE FOR ALL THE SUPPORT IM GETTING. ( AND A EXTRA THANKS TO KRISSTINA, YOU ARE HELPING ME SO MUCH I TRUELLY APPRICIATE IT)


GRANDMA MICHELLE

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Thursday, December 28, 2006 8:45 PM CST

Sorry I haven't updated in so long. We got Alicia's results today from the biopsy she had on December 20th and they weren't good.

I knew when I answered the phone and it was Dr. Williams that it had to be bad. He said they still detected abnormal monosomy seven and that he also got a report from a Pathologist here in Kansas that said her Blast cell count was high and he was having the slides sent to him to confirm it and do another biopsy in a month and if it was the same then she had to go to transplant.

I am so scared. She is my very best friend. I had such high hopes that her results would come back better but they didn't. Dr. Williams said they were going to start right away to search for a donor for Alicia. He did say that they found three possible matches in the blood cord bank.

This is very upsetting to me so I will update after I find out more.

If Alicia has to go to transplant after her biopsy next month that is when her mom Erika is due to have her little brother. This is all so hard.

Grandma Michelle

November 2006 Guestbook Entries

C~O~N~G~R~A~T~U~L~A~T~I~O~N~S Grandma x2 :) And HAPPY belated BIRTHDAY to Alicia! Lots of big fun going on in your family :)
Karen M (team Ty)
Melbourne, FL USA - Sunday, November 26, 2006 3:02 PM CST

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Happy Thanksgiving Alicia!!! I just wanted you to know you are in my prayers this day. Keep on being cute!!!
Kristin Young
gorham, me usa - Thursday, November 23, 2006 7:03 AM CST

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Happy belated birthday. Sounds like a super fun time. I will be keeping you & your family in my prayers. Take care.
Candice Behm
Portland, OR USA - Wednesday, November 22, 2006 2:47 AM CST

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Hoping your family has a very Happy Thanksgiving..Prayers and Bearhugs Love, Marci the Prayer Bears
http://www.freewebs.com/prayerbears
http://www.freewebs.com/caringcreators

Marci Connell
Valdosta, GA USA - Tuesday, November 21, 2006 7:32 PM CST

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Wishing you a Thanksgiving full of family & friends
Kristina Glidewell
- Tuesday, November 21, 2006 3:13 PM CST

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Glad to read that Alicia had such a wonderful birthday. I'm praying that her biopsy results come out better than the last ones did. I wanted to stop by and wish you all a happy Thanksgiving, and to let you know that I am praying for a happy healthy baby boy.
Jennifer from the prayer bears and ones who care
Texas - Monday, November 20, 2006 6:32 PM CST

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Happy birthday to you!! I also wanted to wish all of you a very Happy family filled THANKSGIVING!!!
Blessings to you all....
Kelly Bennett

~Marshall and Amelia~
Covington, Louisiana - Monday, November 20, 2006 4:11 PM CST

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Happy Birthday Alicia!!! I miss those BIG hugs of yours. I hope you got everything you wished for. So, your having a brother!!! I bet you'll be a wonderful big sister. Praying for better biopsy results and I'm so glad Jo and Jacy got to visit! How fun! Hugs to you all.
Kristin Young www.caringbridge.org/me/wesley
gorham, me usa - Monday, November 20, 2006 8:13 AM CST

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Happy Birthday Alicia!!! Beautiful four years old! May God bless you...
Love,
The Ross Family
www.caringbridge.com/ca/karlyross
Nancy Ross
- Sunday, November 19, 2006 8:28 PM CST

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Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday, dear Alicia!
I hope you have a wonderful birthday sweet girl!
Hugs, love & prayers,
Carol - A Prayer Bear
Carol Davis
Richland, MS USA - Sunday, November 19, 2006 1:05 PM CST

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Alicia, Happy Birthday..I hope your day is filled with lots of love and presents..My daughter Elisabeth turned 5 last weekend and her party was today..We had alot of fun..Praying for you always..Prayers and BIG bearhugs LOve, Marci The Prayer Bears
http://www.freewebs.com/prayerbears

Marci Connell
Valdosta, GA USA - Saturday, November 18, 2006 3:21 PM CST

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Happy birthday Alicia! I hope you have a wonderful day today sweetheart@
Jennifer from the prayer bears and ones who care
Bridgeport for the moment, Texas - Saturday, November 18, 2006 12:49 AM CST

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Happy Birthday Alicia
Praying that you have a great birthday.
Keeping you & your family very much in my prayers.
Sending love hugs & prayers to you all.

www.freewebs.com/prayerbears
- Saturday, November 18, 2006 11:35 AM CST

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Alicia,

I heard that you had your birthday!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
What a big girl you are!!!

We'll certainly be back to check in on you!!

Have a wonderful weekend!!

Love and bearhugs,
Eva and Rodney~The Prayer Bears~
www.caringbridge.org/mi/rodneyreeves, - Saturday, November 18, 2006 11:01 AM CST

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LOVE ALWAYS BRENDAMY LOVING DAD'S SITE
EDMONTON ,ALBERTA , - Thursday, November 16, 2006 8:40 PM CST

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Alicia, HI sweetie. Keeping you in my prayers always. I pray you had a amazing and fun Halloween.Prayers and BIG bearhugs LOve, Marci The Prayer Bears
http://www.freewebs.com/prayerbears
http://www.freewebs.com/caringcreators

Marci Connell
Valdosta, GA USA - Tuesday, November 7, 2006 1:05 PM CST

November 18, 2006

TODAY IS ALICIA'S BIRTHDAY!!! SHE TURNED 4 TODAY, SHE IS GETTING TO BE SUCH A "BIG" ("LITTLE") GIRL. WE HAVE SUCH A DAY PLANNED.

WE HAD HER BIRTHDAY PARTY LAST SATURDAY, SHE HAD SO MUCH FUN. WE DECIDED TO HAVE IT EARLY FOR THE FACT THAT ERIKA'S STEP DAUGHTER HAD A BIRTHDAY THE WEEK BEFORE AND THEY HAVE THE CHILDREN EVERY OTHER WEEKEND AND WE WANTED TO MAKE SURE THEY COULD BE THERE ALSO SO ALICIA GETS TO HAVE TWO BIRTHDAYS. WE HAD HER PARTY LAST WEEKEND AT PUMP IT UP. THATS A PLACE THAT HAS BLOW UP SLIDES, A BLOW UP BOXING RING AND A COUPLE OF OTHERS. THERE WAS OVER 25 KIDS AND OVER 60 PEOPLE IN ALL THAT CAME, I THINK THE ADULTS HAD JUST AS MUCH FUN AS ALICIA DID. I WAS SO GLAD KRISSTINA AND JACY GOT TO COME. (THANK YOU KRISSTINA SO MUCH)

HER BIOPSY IS SCHEDULED FOR THE FIRST WEEK IN DECEMBER, I PRAY EVERY DAY THAT IT COMES OUT DIFFERENT THAN HER LAST ONE. I WILL LET EVERYONE KNOW HOW IT TURNS OUT.

WE HAD A LITTLE SCARE A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, ALICIA WOKE UP ON SUNDAY MORNING WITH A TERRIBLE TEMPETURE, WE TOOK HER TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM AND HER TEMP WAS ALREADY AT 102.5 THEY STARTED IV'S AND DID CBC'S AND TOLD ME SHE WAS GOING TO BE ADMITTED. SHE WAS SO SICK!!! THEN AMAZINGLY AFTER WE WERE IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM A COUPLE OF HOURS AND THEY WERE GETTING READY TO MOVE HER TO A ROOM SHE SNAPPED OUT OF IT AND WAS FEELING AND ACTING LIKE HER LITTLE NORMAL SELF. SO THEY GAVE HER SOME ANTIBIOTICS AND LET US GO HOME AND SHE HAS BEEN FINE EVERY SINCE.

WE ALSO GOT SOME GREAT NEWS!!! ERIKA IS HAVING A BOY!!!! SHE AND ANSHON WANTED A BOY SO BAD AND THEY GOT THEIR WISH SO NOW I'M GOING TO HAVE A GRANDSON. THEY DID A SONOGRAM AND COUNTED FIVE FINGERS ON EACH HAND!!!! ANSHON IS STILL BEING TESTED TO MAKE SURE HE DON'T CARRY THE GENE BUT I FEEL HE IS GOING TO BE JUST FINE. I TRUELY BELIEVE THE LORD IS WATCHING OVER ALICIA, AND MAYBE JUST MAYBE LITTLE ANSHON (THATS WHAT HIS NAME IS GOING TO BE)MIGHT BE A MATCH FOR ALICIA, I PRAY THAT HE IS.

I WILL UPDATE WHEN WE GET ALICIAS BIOPSY RESULTS.


GRANDMA MICHELLE (X'S 2)